Daydream Believer

A lot of times when I finish a dolphin show, people approach me and ask how they can become a dolphin trainer, because they think it’s the best job in the world.  Sometimes, though, they tell me that I have the best job in the world.  I tell them, I couldn’t agree more.

I try to not take any day at the zoo for granted, even on days when it would be really easy to write the whole thing off.  I am able to write, engage my inner science-geek and even ham it up a bit.  I remember thinking that my best career expectation would be finding something that met one, hopefully two, of those criteria.  Sometimes I find it really shocking and serendipitous that I am where I am; I can remember being in Sea World with my family when I was in junior high and watching the Shamu presentation.  My sister was fascinated, and proclaimed how cool she thought it would be to work as a marine trainer when she grew up.  Of course I agreed, but some part of me was much more focused on the show’s narrator.

My senior year of high school, I had finally decided I didn’t want to be an astronaut (math and physics had started to seriously kick my ass) but I briefly entertained the notion of Zoology, even doing a shadow-day with a wildlife rehabilitation facility.  Towards the end of the year, I switched to acting as a prospective major. I wound up studying journalism.  Life’s ironies are kind of funny; sometimes things really come full-circle.

In a week and a half of so, I go to the doctor to get blood work and an ultrasound done, after which I will start the egg donation process.  It’s going to take several weeks and daily hormone shots. Many of us remember that my emotions are pretty vulnerable when it comes to extra estrogen - part of the reason I switched from the pill to the ring - but I think this is definitely worth it.  Plus, during this period, I won’t be in grad school, and that will dramatically reduce my emotional stress, I should think.

Most everyone found out about this decision at me and Grant’s housewarming party, and I think I should clarify why I decided to make this choice.  And I’m going to try to chronicle this experience here on the blog for my own sake, and for any potential donors that might be googling and needing more information on the process.

I first became interested in donation because grad school and a certain Toyota Prius set me back financially quite a bit, and while working two jobs during grad school and during the last year has helped, I could use a boost.  Egg donation through the organization I chose is $7k, so it was an attractive scenario.  I decided to make an appointment with the nurse to find out what goes into the process.  Fascinating stuff - its too long to go into here, and you could probably Wikipedia it or something, but the science really intrigued me.

What really made me decide I want to do this, though, is when the nurse talked about how, for the recipents of the donated eggs, this is the last chance.  They’ve tried IVF, they’ve tried getting pregnant the natural way, and nothing has worked.  They are desperate to start their family, and need a guardian angel to give them that gift.  I’m not a religious person, but the idea of that guardianship really struck me.  Not to be flip, but I’m sure not using those eggs (the way a woman’s cycle works, the eggs that will be harvested are actually eggs your body would have naturally reabsorbed into itself - dud eggs that the hormone treatment kind of bulks up).  Anyway, if someone else can use them, needs them, why shouldn’t I give them?  I can’t imagine the sorrow, the disappointment, of failed IVF cycles.  As a woman, even if you don’t want kids at the moment, you understand how it would feel to want them - and not be able to have them.

Throughout my consideration of donating, though, I thought most about my grandmother.  As many people know, my mom, aunt and uncle are all adopted.  My grandma could not have children, so she and my grandpa adopted.  More than once, we have been at family gatherings, and I have caught a glance of my grandma looking around at her family.  Her expression is one of complete gratitude.  I know having a family was so important to her, and were it not for the adoption system, it wouldn’t have been possible.  I know that the mothers who gave up my mom, aunt and uncle were likely simply unable to raise them, and so giving them up was probably at least partially selfish.  But I like to think that also, it was a gift to an unknown stranger (and a gift to my mom aunt and uncle).  Because of someone else (three someone else’s) my grandma got something precious that she really treasures.

It was with those thoughts that I signed the donor contract, and I’m really happy that I did.  I found out that my recipient couple has tried IVF 4 times, and now they’ve turned to donor eggs to try again.  They’re so hopeful and yet so scared, they asked the nurse to call me once more to make sure I was one hundred percent committed to the process.  And I am.  I feel some pressure, hoping my fertility levels are good, my eggs viable, because I really want this to work for them.  I will never meet them and never know their names, but I already feel bound to them.

So, I will do my best to describe the process here, but it won’t be all eggs all the time.  :)  So keep reading - if nothing else, it will probably be interesting!

Photos from Ren Faire are UP.  Check them out, some fun shots.

In case any of you missed any of these, now you will be in the dark no more! Trolling around the Internets, lost in the tubes, I came across some gems. In no particular order:

• Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog. Whedon, Fillion, N.P. Harris and Simon Helberg (Wolowicz of the Big Bang Theory). Need I say more?
• While I’m at it, The Big Bang Theory.
• Mint.com, a way to manage your spending and investing all in one place. Plus it updates you on your financial status every week or month, based on your preferences. Like a personal financial advisor, but with a cuter logo.
• Wil Wheaton’s blog. I love Wil Wheaton and his writing more than any of his characters, which is saying a lot considering when I was little I wanted to be Wesley Crusher’s best friend. Is it sad that I have Wil Wheaton’s autograph and Neil Armstrong’s autograph, and I prize them equally? I think not, friends. When I grow up, I want to be like Wil Wheaton. Seriously.
• Funny cats who use invisible props, do not want things and fail, epically.
• Blood!
• We can solve it, a grass-roots environmental and climate change organization.
• Nintendo A Capella. Tetris never sounded so melodic.
• For hilarious out-of-context comment, faux paus and idiodic observations, Overheard in the Office and its various counterparts.

Things are going pretty well thusfar.  The cohabitating is at the same time strange and normal.  The first week was odd - it was less romance, more business.  Like, getting things done around the apartment, and not really “enjoying” the living together aspect.  That has balanced out in subsequent days.  Two weeks living together and we haven’t killed each other yet, so that has to be a good sign.  Plus, in our garage sale last week, we made over $500.  We’re having another one next weekend, and I’m considering selling a few things on eBay.  Hmmm, I should start looking at what similar items are going for…

In living with a boy, there are always impossible barriers of communication and different points of view.  We need only click the post category “Living with Boys” for evidence to this fact.  Living with a boyfriend has its similarities, but you also have the added bonus of really liking, and hopefully loving, the person of the opposite sex. So, the dumb stuff seems less dumb.  Still, funny observations:

1. Grant insisted we buy window fans right away because it was so hot in our apartment.  I insisted we buy picture frames right away because it was so dull in our apartment.

2. I leave my makeup on the dresser.  Grant leaves his pajamas on the bathroom floor.

3. As much as I hate stereotypical gender roles, we seem to have fallen into them.  Grant does do the cooking, which is flippin’ sweet, but I wash the dishes.  And after work, he sets himself to doing wiring and door-fixing.  I clean and organize and beautify.

4. I don’t know why any one person needs so many socks.  Grant insists many of them aren’t his, and he must have accidentally taken some of his brother’s and dad’s socks, but I am suspicious.

5.  Grant eats breakfast and I drink coffee.  Unfortunately for me, the dishwasher, he loves to make himself omlettes in the morning.  But it could be worse.  I could have to make the things.

6. Grant whines.  I am lazy.  These things we knew before.

So, so far things are happy and good.  Couch gets delivered tomorrow, at which point we will hang artwork.  That is very exciting.  My next task will be remembering to clean the coffeepot before leaving for work.  I think grant’s next task will be finishing the setting up of his desk.

Here’s the thing.  When the new American Gladiators aired a few months ago for its first season, I was seriously so freaking excited.  Anyone who watched it with me saw it, and anyone who knows me probably heard about it.  I was really into it, in part because of nostalgia, obviously; my sister and I would watch the original show all the time when we were kids, and it was fun to have something familiar but still new on the air.  But I also really liked the gladiators themselves and the showman-like quality of many of them.  And I liked the Hulk and his funny hand gestures and most likely fake hair peeking out from under his head scarf thing.  I’d get all excited and squealy during the episodes - me and American Gladiators was like other people and sports.  At least kind of.

But this season, I feel less into it.  I’m not sure why, even.  I like some of the new gladiators and some of the new challenges.  I like the new eliminator.  The Hulk is still hilariously awesome-ish.  What could possibly have changed?  Really I think it’s the novelty of it all.  I was thinking about all of this this morning and I realized that there is one big difference between how I watched AG when I was a kid and how I watch it now.  When I was a kid, we just put it on if we came across it while flipping channels.  Now, we make it an event to sit down and watch American Gladiators.  That’s the key.  At heart, AG is a silly show that you can have on while you fold laundry or something.  And its something that will definitely fill the needs of a 7-year-old on a lazy Sunday afternoon.  But is it straight-through watchable for an adult audience who is accustomed to complex plots or, at the very least, clever humor?  Probably not for more than a season or two.

So, it’s a little sad.   But, also, I watch so much freaking TV that it would not be a bad thing to become less committed to a few of them.  But, as the current season continues on, will I still watch every week?  Of course.   I’m not totally over it just yet.

Or, as Jessi would put it, “Not Dead.”

We’re going to give this whole update-your-blog thing a try once more.  It was all well and good when I was living alone in Virginia with no social life and a powerful desire/need to procrastinate on my research, but then I came home and had real people to spend time with, who I could just TELL things to instead of typing them into the great void that is the Internets.  But, after some consideration, and an impassioned plea from Rich, I decided to try this out again.  It might not work.  I might poop out on it, but for now, we’ll see how it goes.

The newest thing to happen in my life of course is that I just spilled coffee down the front of my shirt.  Thank goodness I’m still in PJ’s.  The next newest thing to happen to me is that Grant and I found an apartment in Oak Park, so we’ll be moving in together sometime around July.  This is very exciting, but also kind of strange, because I’ve never lived with someone in the romantic sense.  Also, I have no idea how living in Oak Park will affect the frequency with which we see friends, and the relationships we have with our parents.  I predict former remains fairly steady while the latter will improve with distance.  Plus, I think I’m secretly hoping that others who would like Oak Park might also move.  Hint.

Slightly less newer is the fact that Grant has a job downtown, which means that the tables have turned.  Whereas he would always be the one who could hang out earlier than me, who had to wait for me to get out of work (and sometimes didn’t wait), now I am the one who gets home before him.  I wish our schedules were more in sync, but I figure once the speech season starts at the high school, I’ll be getting home much later, so what does it really matter?

Even more slightly older than that is the news that my computer is possessed.  Well, ok, that’s not true.  But what is happening is that something is wrong with the power source - like, the little jack that my power cord plugs into.  I think.  I don’t know.  My screen flickers pretty frequently and pretty drastically.  It always does a major flicker when you move from being plugged in to running on batteries, but it does that like all the time now.  And my little Battery Widget will indicate power/no power/power/no power…../ok, power agai/NOPE NO POWER!!! over and over like the jack isn’t connecting correctly to the cord.  I tried substituting the power cord from my work computer, which lessened the issue but did not completely eradicate it.  I should call Dell, but I’m lazy and unsure of when/where I should have them come out to fix the thing.  So right now I’m just putting up with it, but I am a bit concerned that it will eventually give me seizures.  Hmm.

I think that’s the majority of the news in my personal life right now.  I’m debating the merits of talking about work here, and I think in general I’ll have to avoid it, because any of the really good stories or whatever that I could tell would make it pretty easy for some random reader to find out where i work, and that’s something that I’m not sure would be a good idea.  Not that I write about anything scandalous or anything.  But still.  Peace out!

So, back when I was in VA I submitted a quote to Overheard in the Office, and I just got an e-mail saying that it was published today.

http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/004711.html

Yay! 10 out of 10 people so far have voted this quote “alsome.” w00t! 

To take a cue from one JessiPepsi, I am not dead.  Apologies for going away for so long.  But this happens every time I come home for long breaks, so no one should really be surprised, right? 

Things have been busy as heck.  I work 2 part time jobs these days - one as an educator for a prestigious non-profit organization, and the other as a waitress.  Ugh.  Juggling 2 jobs is not what I would call fun.  In fact, its freakishly harder than i thought it would be.  If you work long hours at one job, the other job could care less, and they’re not going  to be at all flexible or sympathetic to your plight. :)   So, its a real battle to make sure I can get everything done without killing myself.  So far, I have had moderate success.  Though not dead, I have a killer shoulder ache, and possible carpel tunnel developing, I am unsure.  It is a little depressing to have a Master’s Degree and be going through this kind of crap.  I ran into an old friend yesterday, and he asked, “So how does it feel to have your Masters?”  I thought for a minute, and replied, “Well, considering it took two years and a lot of debt to get it, and I’m making less money than I did before i went to grad school, it feels not so great!”  But that’s the glib answer.  In reality, I know that it will pay off in the long run, and I’m glad I got the degree because I got it for me, and not for any kind of career/salary agenda. So it feels good.  But at the same time, it kind of sucks.

Anyway, life is good otherwise.  Lots of weddings this summer!  I’ve already saved almost all the money i need for me and grant’s trip to Seattle, and I am SO pumped that I will finally get to see that city!!  We have planned our itinerary and everything - it’ll be great!

So that’s it for now.  More details to come.  But for now, NotDead.

So, some of you might be aware of LOLCats or Cat Micros, which are funny pictures of cats with bad grammar phrases. They’re freaking hilarious. Even more hilarious is the site somebody made of a Star Trek Tribble episode in LOLCat format. This is pure gold.

EDIT:  Did you guys catch the Settlers of Catan joke in there?!?  I just caught it now, my 3rd time reading the thing.  Go check it out!